The Danish Way of Parenting: Part 1

Have you seen the viral trend where parents pretend to hit their child’s head on a door or wall, but actually slap the wall instead? Then, they ask the child, "Oh my goodness! I’m sorry! Are you okay?" which often makes the child cry as if they were really hurt. Take a look here for an example: Instagram

While we do not condone this type of trickery with a baby or child (what good comes of it?) We’ve been talking about the differences in parenting reactions when a child really does hurt themselves.

In Scandinavia, specifically Denmark (because that is where we have experience) a parent’s reaction to a child falling over, or a minor injury is to say ‘Op Igen’ or ‘up again’, this immediately takes the air out of the balloon that could potentially pop and reframes the problem to be smaller. I guess it is the Danish version of ‘Shake it off’ 

Why It's Important Not to Overreact When Your Child Hurts Themselves

Of course, when your child hurts themselves, we are concerned and we want them to feel our compassion, not a dismissal, so it is a fine line. However, while it’s essential to be attentive and caring, overreacting to minor injuries can sometimes do more harm than good. Here’s why it’s important to stay calm and composed when your child hurts themselves, and how you can effectively manage these situations. 

The Impact of Overreacting:

1. Creating Fear and Anxiety When parents overreact to minor injuries, it can cause children to become overly fearful and anxious about getting hurt. They may start to associate minor bumps and scrapes with a level of danger that doesn’t exist, which can limit their willingness to explore and play.
2. Teaching Emotional Regulation Children learn how to respond to situations by observing their parents. If you remain calm and composed, your child is more likely to learn how to manage their emotions effectively. Conversely, if you panic, they might mirror that reaction, leading to heightened anxiety and distress.
3. Encouraging Resilience Learning to cope with minor injuries is a part of growing up. By not overreacting, you allow your child to develop resilience and learn that minor setbacks are a natural part of life. This helps them build the confidence to handle future challenges more independently.

How to Stay Calm and Composed

1. Assess the Situation Take a moment to assess the injury. Is it a minor scrape or a bump that just needs a bit of comfort and maybe a bandage? Or is it something more serious that requires medical attention? By assessing the situation first, you can react appropriately.
2. Stay Positive and Reassuring Use a calm and positive tone when addressing your child. Reassure them that they are okay and that these things happen. Your calm demeanor will help soothe them and reduce their stress.
3. Provide Comfort and Care Give your child the care they need without making a big fuss. Take a wash cloth (such as a Bebe au Lait Burp Cloth), add some warm water and lay it over the graze (without rubbing), once the graze is clean, add some antiseptic cream to the area and a colorful, fun band aid, and finish with a loving hug.
4. Encourage Independence Once the initial shock has passed and they’re feeling better, encourage them to get back to their activities. This reinforces the idea that minor injuries are not a big deal and that they can continue having fun.

Teaching Your Child About Safety

While it’s important not to overreact, it’s equally important to teach your child about safety and how to avoid getting hurt. Here are a few tips:

1. Discuss Potential Hazards Talk to your child about potential hazards in a way that is age-appropriate. Explain why certain behaviors, like running on slippery floors or climbing too high, can lead to injuries.
2. Model Safe Behavior Children learn a lot by watching their parents. Model safe behavior in your own actions. Wear a helmet when biking, use seat belts, and follow safety rules.
3. Set Clear Boundaries Set clear boundaries and rules about what is safe and what isn’t. Make sure your child understands these rules and the reasons behind them.

While it’s natural to feel a surge of worry when your child gets hurt, it’s important to manage your reaction. Staying calm, providing appropriate care, and teaching your child about safety are key to helping them develop resilience and confidence. Remember, minor injuries are a part of childhood, and how you handle them can significantly impact your child’s emotional well-being and development. So next time your child takes a tumble, take a deep breath, assess the situation, and handle it with calm and care…and perhaps try out to the Danish way ‘Op Igen!’